Third Person’s Point of View: Monster
I saw myself become a monster, I saw myself become a man. I question my manhood all the time. I am nothing like the others (objectively), always saw that as less, but that is where my inferior complex comes in. I opt out, I look inward, I seek the difference, I aim for excellence. I cling to anything that will depict me being the person my ego wants. Every day, I still felt inadequate, then I noticed the conveyor belt theory, there’s always a void, a goal, we never get to sit and be happy. I am probably living a part of my life right now that I might miss, even though I don’t see that now, because I am hyper-focused on my goals and the things that I need to prove to myself. Due to that self-awareness, I get off the conveyor belt and I start walking. Appreciating the pathway, the scenery on the way, learning patience, being inquisitive, and open to new ways and trails. I end the action of feeling void (it takes time) by looking for ways that I can do more than. Toni Morrison, haven’t read anything she wrote but I saw a clip, she said stop thinking about your little self, and do something important and serious for others, Those doubtful thoughts ansd slef doubt coem from thinking about yourself too much, insteading of over analyzing one’s self, let’s lend a hand and extend our power. This is why moving forward, I accept all of me, and I live and take in the present with gratitude. I am not going to look at the things I lack, but look towards the experiences and knowledge that I can gain. I saw my soul, raw and open, I am a man through and through, and for the first time in my life, I say that with pride. The love and efforts I share for myself and that I extend to others i what makes me a man. The confidence, respect, and self-worth I want to foster are what will make me a man. I set the standard for myself, filling the void by being active and present. I saw myself in all forms: my sexual beast-like nature, my docile and passive attitude, my sensitive ego, and vicious internal dialogue. I tame them with actions and a fortified force of unconditional pride and love for being who I am. Because I love myself, I seek elevated experiences, not just that of common approval, but of acceptance of true nature, the beauty in the rawness and imperfections. I conquer myself, because I am the world. I saw the depths of my mind in my sexual desires and the places it has taken me. I see my same adrenaline and pride in my existence as my peers, yet their views might be different, but I believe in mine just as much as they believe in theirs. I take up space just as much. If pride is the only thing we have in common that let that be the only thing that connects us and let vision and implementation be what separates the best of men from the weakest, I rise, like a werewolf at full moon in my final form r ready to feast on success.
Ambition
Human Nature. Behavioral Studies. Psychology. Philosophy. All of the’ phys and isms. The brain is the natural computer. I think, think, think, paralysis by analysis. My brain is filled with a lot of information and many connected dots, yet I still think about reaching an understanding. I seek the paramount of knowledge. My experience as I dig through the landfill of self-knowledge and all other distinctions is motivated by finding the treasure, the golden ticket of knowledge, the answer to everything. A big part of me believes that i will get to an enlightenment, an understanding, that solves all problems and changes everything in my life for the better. So I seek, the synapses in my brain function are wired, the conveyor belt that moves my muscles, particularly, using every bit of energy I gain from nutrients and repeats. I have now noticed, the best gift is the ability and the present. There is no golden rule of knowledge, it is everlasting, knowledge and the connections of thoughts are like counting numbers, they just go on and on and on. For those who are on that same voyage of seeking knowledge, if seeking is what keeps you living, as you wish, continue. It brings along a purpose that may triumph over faith itself. To know is to be and to create, and to be is to know. There is a power that I seek from wanting to know more, I want the world to unravel under my thumbs like an orchestra leader. I want a bird’s eye view of the life we live. i want it all.
